Wednesday, November 05, 2008

My kids cancelled out my vote....but I am still proud of them

While I wasn't an Obamanite, both my kids were. I actaully voted Libertarian. Screw the lesser of two evils vote, even though I knew I was throwing away my vote -- but that was my political statement.
Libertarian Party is really not that bad on Fiscal issues, I think it is the 4:20 aspect that keeps them from wider acceptance :-) [sorry Bigg]

It really is funny though, while my kids grew up in a conservative, yet openminded house.... they really have not stayed 'republican' in nature. They agreed that Univ. of Texas in Austin was too liberal and too many strange people hung around campus... so they went to the conservative university that both their parent attended. I always told them they could go anywhere they wanted, but if the wanted me to pay for it, they would go to TAMU.

We live in the suburbs of Austin (to distance us from t.u. , all the extremist liberals and crazy tree huggers - my apologies to the sane tree huggers).
Anyway, back to the tangent thought: A few years ago the Austin Chamber of Commerce came up with the slogan : 'Keep Austin Wierd"
My Alma Mater, Texas A&M University - WHOOP! - is in College Station and being the "anti-t.u." came up with the bumper sticker slogan: "Keep College Station Normal"
Our home town, not to be outdone started: "Keep Round Rock Mildly Amusing".
...but I digress from the reason for this post, other than to point out the polarizing aspects of the community they grew up in.

I guess College Station/TAMU has drifted to Ultra-conservative. You would think that sending your kids there would instill conservative value, but no... my kids have become a more liberal and I didn't understand that until this article was printed in the campus newspaper, "The Battalion":
Young Conservatives

HEY DUMBASS: Freedon of Speech still comes with responsibility. I think the actions of this group (not all of which were included in this article - let's just say reminds me of KKK antics) has caused my kids to want to distance themselves from their ideals...and I can't say that I blame them. btw, that is my son in the picture...made the t-shirt himself.
I have heard that even the Young Republicans distance themselves from this group...go figure.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

These are always fun...

What dog breed are you? I'm a Golden Retriever! Find out at Dogster.com

Golden Retriever
The Charmer
Laid-back, sociable and well-groomed, you've got your own hip little pack of groupies who just love to be around you. You have a brain inside that adorable little head of yours, though you use it mostly to organize your hectic social calendar. You never poop out at parties, and since you're popular with ladies and men, as well as children and adults, you dish out your wit, charm and luck to whomever is close enough to bask in it. The top dog likes you and wants to be your best friend, despite the fact that he doesn't really know what the heck you do. No one does, in fact, but everyone loves you all the same. A true foodie, you’ve got your keen ears fine-tuned to make sure you don't miss out on the opening of a trendy new place to nosh. But your youthful days of being able to wolf down food 24-7 are wagging behind you, meaning you've got to watch what you eat so you don’t pull a Brando and outgrow your coats. Learn more »
FAMOUS GOLDEN RETRIEVERS: Bono, Robert Redford, Joe Montana, Julia Roberts
LIKELY PROFESSIONS: Journalist, Intelligence Agent, Venture Capitalist

I might have to take it over again, there were some answers that I must have waffled on...
Hectic Social Calendar - Life of the Party... if I know everyone there maybe I'll be a wild and crazy guy, otherwise i am very reserved and I haven't been to a party in years!


OK I took it again and this is what i got...
What dog breed are you? I'm a Labrador Retriever! Find out at Dogster.com

Labrador Retriever
The Caretaker
Your family is what makes you tick, and you never "flea" from an opportunity to hang out with the whole gang. A family picnic complete with hot dogs, deviled eggs and a refreshing swim in the lake is hard for you to stray from. Your sparky temperament and dogged intelligence mean you are not only a blast to hang out with, but great to work with as well. Your close pals appreciate your patience and forgiveness, knowing you'd rather let sleeping dogs lie than dwell on the mishaps of the past. Your dashing good looks may one day lead to a modelling career, if only you can tame the unfortunate clumsiness that sometimes causes you to go flailing from the catwalk. Learn more »
FAMOUS LABRADOR RETRIEVERS: Bill Cosby, Jackie Onassis, Dr. Phil, David Beckham
LIKELY PROFESSIONS: Doctor, Sales Executive, Teacher

David Beckham sounds nice...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

We are the Aggies, but...

I was initially impressed when Mike Sherman was selected as the next A&M coach and you do have the give the guy a little slack in his first year, except the only thing he proves is that if you don't play the first string you will loose. He finally put Javorskie Lane on 4th and Goal from the 1 yd line and he came through.... then later he did put him in, much to his credit on 3rd and Goal from 2yrd line, but called the exact same play...well I guess if it worked once maybe it would twice....but then on 4 and Goal on the next play, just calling the same play to other guard - that is not brilliant play calling. J-train can run more than one play, just look at the film from last year! A little off tackle shift and the ends were vulnerable.... come on Sherman, be a little more creative and use him more! It's pretty obvious when he comes in on only 3rd and Goal, the few times that we get that close, that he will be getting the ball. Put him in at other times and punish a few linemen to free up some holes for the other backs once they get a little 'gun shy' and sore.

That last dumb ass coach we had decimated the defense - a once a proud spot for A&M and Aggies everywhere - called the Wrecking Crew. Well it's still wrecked... and it really is depressing. We have absolutly no secondary. We did have Peterson, but he's been hurt and did not even play today. ...and under Sherman there has been not real improvement

I will get off of Gray's back, he did finally have a couple of good runs. He does have moves, he does have speed, he just doesn't use them at the same time... he finally put it together a couple of times, but he is not Goodson! ...yet... He is a Freshman, so there is hope for the future.

Unfortunately the rest of our schedule is mostly Top Ten ranked teams except Baylor and even Baylor has been improving - so we may competing against ourselves for basement of the Big 12...

I would just like to see some improvement in the defense... Our offense can move the ball most o fthe time, but when the defense can't make a stop, it's hard to keep up... The offense could help itself by not turningover the ball, but that's another story...

I just hope we don't have OU or tu, or even TxTech score over 70 ... but sadly it may be possible - heck K. State put 44 on us and could have done more...

Sunday, September 21, 2008

I will be glad when this wkend is over

Well, I didn't expect the Aggies to beat Miami, but I didn't think that they would make themselves look so bad either. I figured we would loose by two scores and we were still competitive to the half...in the 3 qtr. they just gave away two touchdowns early due to errors and dug a hole they could get out of....
What a depressing weekend this has turned out to be!

My daughter's best friend has been living with us (rent free - that was our graduation present to her) since she graduated from nursing school in May and got a job working at the local hospital. Her mom moved to Houston while she was in college - that is one reason for the arrangement. She moved out this weekend. I thought she left a nice thank you note, but 'the wife' could find reason to find fault in it. What a surprize - that is one of the things I really hate about her and just drives yet another wedge between us that I don't see can be (or don't want to) repair.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Life sucks and then you die

Today has been the shits...
First off, i forgot my phone at home.
Arrived at work for TeleConf. @10 and dialed in ahead of time. About 5 mins past start time they finally bothered to tell us the callin number changed.
There were charts they were sharing over the internet and the presenter did not know he was suppose to advance the screens, someone finally spoke up on screen 5 that our view was not changing.
I work with idiots sometime - "Plans, we don't need no stinking plans!"
That mtg was only planned for 1 hr... lasted to 1pm... at least that was when I left.
Got back from lunch to learn that a mtg was called 30 mins ago to review the mtg that took so long...
and then 'the wife' called me to tell me she got laid off from work...

Life sucks sometimes

Thursday, September 18, 2008

OMG! Is Austin going to have a FALL Season this year?

After the cold front pushed IKE east of Austin, I figured it would be just another ONE DAY of 'cool-ish temps.' and then back to 90+ degrees in the waning Dog Days of Summer which usually last until Christmas. Indian Summer is putting it lightly. Yet it is still cool today!

Today was the first morning I got to ride the Vectrix into work and I had to zip my jacket up to the neck and I was thinking I need to either find the glove my Son lost or buy new gloves...
I was sortta thinking I would be able to just wait and put it on my Christmas Wish list, but now I don't know...


Other event: Went to Sargent, TX to see if the house was still there. We had heard reports about Sargent Beach having sustained the worst damage in 100 yrs, so we weren't sure what to expect... Luckily the house only lost the cable tv dish which we found on the side of the house and the down stairs was probably under about 2 inches of water the best we could tell and this house is one mile from the beach...
There was a lot of 'flotsom' from trees, piers and houses scattered in the yard so you could tell about where the water line was...
We drove to the beach and any house that was not on a bluff lost the first floor if not more. The storm surge must have pushed the walls and garage doors out... in those houses the top story usually survived. If the land the house sat on was 'beach level' there usually was more damage...
The beach is another story... there is no sand. It is all gone...much like they saw at Galveston. Before: About event 50 yards there were picnic cabanas with 'really' heavy cement tables and benches that had little driveways to park a couple of cars on... well, use to have a little driveways... now they are even smaller - if there at all - maybe get one car on and is four to six feet about the surrounding ground. The surge ate the dunes and excavated about 4 to 6 feet of beach sand down to the clay base. The beach use to extend about 30 - 50 ft from the Cabanas to the water, now is maybe 15-20 ft.
What's that bible verse about building houses on shifting sand!
We noticed that most of the tables survived, but may be moved, most of the benches might still be there, but no longer in the cabana.

Just lucky...thank God! yet, even here, there is going to be a lot of clean up - 45 miles S. of Galveston.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Last of the Family Contacted

Finally got my brother, they do not have Electricity in Conroe area and all the cell phones died. They got a generator yesterday, but don't expect to get Electricity until 29th.... they are hoping that date is an exaggeration and will be sooner, but didn't want to tell people a date too soon and not make it.
Let's see it hit the 13th and will be 29th before they get Electricity again - geeze. That means the well isn't pumping water either.

But it was basically good news, the house withstood the winds and none of the tall pine trees fell on the roof, but it did leak a little.

Thank God for keeping them safe...

My son stayed in College Station and even though they were on the 'dry side' of Ike - they still got 3.5 inches of rain and flooded the yards.

Austin was breezy and warm - not a drop of rain and we really could have used 3.5 inches

Wha tis crazy is Ingleside - Port Aransas way down by Corpus experienced flooding from the waves of the storm surge making it all the way down south to Padre Island... I hear the Island had some flooding, but my Mom wasn't specific.

Hope if you have family and friends in the area that they are all OK

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Smooth Sailing and Rough Waters at the same time

It only took a few days to get the Vectrix repaired and I have been afraid to jinx it, but things have been going rather well with it lately...
Meanwhile, my son's EVT-4000e's charger when on the fritz! Suppose to hear from the dealer today about when the new replacement will be shipped...it's been two weeks trying to get that info!

We are going to head South tomorrow to Matagorda and see if the house is still there...
The report was Sargent sustained the worse damage in many years with Ike, but it was not anything like Galveston... We just finished a renovation on the exterior too...geeze - with any luck it will still be there.

Still haven't heard from my brother in Conroe... I am hoping it is just that they are busy recovering/recooping...

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Early Adopter woes...

I could not get the Vectrix to start this morning. I called the store. Apparently, the Tech and the owner are working out their differences. Yea for that!
Unfortunately, it looks like the circuit board that charges the battery is messed up and they came and picked up my baby and hauled it away to the shop. Hope it won't be gone too long.
The problem seemed to start when I rode it through the rain puddles... I hope that is not going to be a recurring problem.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Trouble in Paradise, tell me it is so

The Vectrix Tech where we bought the motorcycle at said he wanted me to put some miles on it than come back so he could 'flatten' the batteries and then to reset some level so the batteries would get a complete charge each time. Plus run some diagnositics since the first bike I got had some problems.

Well I have a 200+ miles on it now. Everything has been going well ...until last Wednesday. I drove home after a heavy rain (Hurricane Dolly cast off) and I had a little problem. I basically was almost home when wife called on the cell, we were meeting for supper at a resturant. Not like you can talk on the cell and drive the Motorcycle very safely, so I pulled over... When I started back up, the bike started acting a little funny. The battery check light came on went off a number of time before staying on permanently. The expected range reserve when from 15 miles to 18, flashed to 12 and then 0 in a span of about 20 feet and I swear one of the gauges read, 'bullshit' -- later I saw it was 'buSult'... maybe that was polish programmer humor for you ain't got no more power dumb ass.

Anyway, today I called Scott on his cell to see if he was going to be at the store on Saturday... We have gotten to be friends and I trusted him. I felt he was really honest and upfront about everything that was going on in those first months of ups and downs. (New Technology bugs). He tells me his quit yesterday because of some disagreements with the owner over customer service issues/concerns. Plus she chewed him out in front of customers.... not really a confidence builder if you are the customer witnessing all that. ick!

Well, technically he still is the Vectirx service rep for this region - just not associated with the store that sold me the bike any longer. Unfortunately, the owner will not let him have the cables necessary to connect his laptop to the bike to run the diagnostics and Vectrix had previously told Scott not to release the software to anyone who was not a certified Vectrix Technician.... he was the only one certified at the store. Damn!

I wish/hope they work this out. I am left in the lerch if this really is a 'real' problem. Plus I like Scott - he seems to have strong ethics and is just a good guy, ta boot! The owner is fine, but I have felt that she would say what ever you wanted to hear without always knowing for sure or following up...or at least getting back in touch with you if you were waiting on a reply...

lBM is finally doing Family Day again

Use to be that Family Day at IBM was a big free carnival on site with a giant ferris wheel, games, kid and adult rides, building tours and such - more food than a glutton could consume. They would always have local musical entertainment through out the day and have a concert with someone (i.e. some rudely say - hasbeen) formerly famous, but still was good time and good show following by a spectacular fireworks display. It was strickly for 'immediate Family' and you had to be creative to sneak in an extra relative or kid...

When times got hard in the Dot.Com bust, Family Day ceased to exist. They said it would be biennial or every 5 years, but that has not happened - at least in the old form. IBM actually sold off half the property in Austin (where the carnival was held). It has evolved into 'field trips' to Fiesta Texas Six Flags in San Antonio or this year it is Sea World. You pay a reduced rate to get in, but this year you can get 6 tickets no questions asked.... so the sneaking in visiting relatives has gotten easier :-)

We haven't gone in the past cause, first we had season tickets to Fiesta Texas when the kids were younger, then there were other reasons others years. But this year we are going to Sea World and bringing two extra guests - not having to sneak them in. Yippee! Hope it doesn't rain....

yet I still miss the old local carnival atmosphere at the IBM Century Oaks Park...progress.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wow, I was going to be happy with something in the 80% range...

You know the Bible 90%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

Friday, April 04, 2008

3 bucks was my limit, not Global Warming - geeze


We have a Honda Hybrid already and I bought the kids an Electric Moped from Alien Scooters in S. Austin to use in College Station, however, I said to myself when Gas hits $3 bucks I was going to do something ....buy a Vectrix Electic Motorcycle...or start riding my bike to work....

I also play games with the Honda, like just how high MPG can I get on this tankful. This week I have been trying not to go over 50mph, and if I have to only go 55 mph. I am getting 49.5 - 50.3 mpg! ...and while that is really good mpg, the allure of the motorcycle kept call ing to me... call it a mid-life crisis, but it really is an economic decision.... really Regardless, we ordered it today and should be here in 10 days.... WOO HOO!


Thursday, March 20, 2008

Gigilo Meter

Dang and i was hoping I was worth $5,500 like a NYC whore... Oh well I guess I'll be keeping the day job...

bedroom toys
Powered By Shop for Toys

Friday, August 17, 2007

Bittersweet

I was asked to play music at this funeral, I can not imagine the grief the family must be dealing with....
http://www.kvue.com/news/local/stories/081307kvuemeningitis-cb.2f51a5fe.html
Hey let's go out and have one last fun weekend before school starts back up, what a great family outting to have it end like this ....scarey

Hug you loved ones, you just never know.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Yup, I am officially GREEN now.

I had the Hybrid Honda Civic for over a year now and bought my wife the Electric Bike so she doesn't drive the Mazda Pickup to work anymore if the weather is nice.
Here is her Bike. http://www.tresterra.com/portia.html
My son and I were using it a lot this weekend and it really is fun. Generates a lot of looks and questions. I beginning to feel like a salesman, I wonder if i should ask if there are any kickbacks for referrals?
Well I bought/ordered my son (freshman) and daughter(senior) an electric Scooter to use at A&M.
http://www.alienscooters.com/component/option,com_virtuemart/Itemid,37/page,shop.browse/category_id,9/
They live together in the duplex we bought a few years back... They opted for the sporty looking one cause you could (conceivably) sit two more comfortably on the bike. I like the one that looked more like a Vespa, but this way maybe I won't have to buy two - ha...now I just hope the use it.
It's suppose to come in on Wednesday, don't know if we will pick it up then or wait till the weekend - but I figure I will ride it home - probably be the only time I get to ride it!

now all I need is a leather motor cycle jacket and some leather chaps - lol

I forgot to add, this is what I want for my birthday/Christmas/Anniversary present...
http://www.vectrix.com/Portal/1/Language/47/Page/1/Home_(US).aspx
Alien Scooters has one in the show room, haven't gotten the courage to test drive it yet though.... didn't want to torture myself yet if I really liked it, like I'm not - HA!

Friday, July 27, 2007

OMG - next I'll be movin' to S. Austin

Boy, i didn't think I was ever going to have time to make a post again....finally!
Well it has taken 25 years, but Austin has turned this conservative into a tree huggin' liberal!
I bought an electric bike and looking at an electric moped for the kids to use at college. I also took the quiz here and beat my daughter by two points....I was 268.

this is cool:http://www.earthlab.com/carbonProfile/LiveEarth.htm?ver=13

I refuse plastic bags many times just because I only have one or two things and I hate throwning them away, so that pile up at the house until we take them to the store to recycle. It more out of guilt than ecology that I recycle.
We recycle aluminum cans cause that was the kids allowance money when they were little - they look a little pissed at me now, tho - lol. Although I noticed my son cashed 'em all in when he came home a few weekends ago. They do get some allowance, so i am not a total orge....in spite of what they may say behind my back. (yes I am not totally deaf you dumb-a__'s!)

Actually, the tree hugger is not really that far a stretch for me. I don't know why being conservative politically means you are an eco-terrorist also. I actually know some rather wasteful liberals that it drives me crazy. I mean how hard is it to toss the drink can in the blue garbage can just around the corner in the break room when go by to the bathroom... I'm just sayin'....
I grew up on the coast was alway litter conscious. Rode my bike cause I enjoy it and it was a way to get out of the house with the 5th degree of where you going, who you going with, .....the usual Mom things....that we did to our kids too.

Anyway take the quiz, share the link and make just one change to become less an eco-terrorist this yr. It is suprizingly easy to do just one new thing a year, and make it become routine rather than trying to radically change your whole existence and getting burnt out in the process - some people can do it, but some people also have farther to go than others....

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

OK, I probably just opened a can of worms, but...

I received this note from one of the yahoo groups I subscribe to. While I am totally sympathetic to the author's sentiment, the whole argument riles me. Maybe since i was a statistics minor, it just makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck, or maybe it is just the short sightedness of the comments and comparison.

Here is the note:

A federal Justice in Australia's High Court made a comment the other day which really puts things in perspective. He made an observation while the court was considering an appeal against a man convicted under Australia's new anti-terror laws -- the first person to have been so charged. Justice Michael Kirby's remarks were made in response to the Solicitor-General stating that Australia was more vulnerable to terrorist attacks since the events of September 11, 2001 in the United States.
Kirby said, "Yes, but the Americans, with all respects, have become obsessed with September 11. That is not an event that occurred in this country, and I think we have to keep our eye on the threats to Australia." Justice Kirby added that more people died every day from the [AIDS] than died in September 11. According to the UN, 7,761 people died from AIDS-related illness each day across the globe in 2005. Approximately 2,900 died in the World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks. That's more than two and a half times for a single day -- or 975 times over the course of just one year.

I've been thinking this since 2002, when I realized that "9/11" and "September 11th" had become little more than catch-phrases. AIDS is still being ignored, especially in America, while people still talk about the events of ONE DAY nearly five and a half years ago.
Some perspective, isn't it...?
Dave --


NOW WHY couldn't I just let it lie and not respond, I must be PMSing....

Here is my response:


I 100% sympathize with your intentions in sending this note. AIDS research and cures do not seem to be a high priority in the US, probably because of the stigma that it is a 'gay disease'. That is not true in Africa - it is an equal opportunity bastard to whole community's health - men, women, children, gay, straight and everything in between.

However, with all due respect, the judge is an idiot and needs remedial basic math skills. I am not sure about the 9/11 impact on Australia and I do agree with the they should be concerned about their own safety. Yet I am sure that if the US economy tanks due to terrorist attacks, there will be a lot of other countries that will get taken down with it....so I guess there is an economic interest there for Australians to consider.

Now about the numbers, that is just an asinine comparison. You are not comparing apples to apples, more like apples to oranges.

There were 7800 people die of AID over a 365 day period in 2005 - that is about 22 a day.
On 9/11, one day, 3000 people died. To make my point about the bad comparison, then if we had a similarly vicious attack over a 365 day period, then 1,095,000 would have died as a result. That is an outlandish statement as well.

Now I can not even figure out the math of where the comment for: "or 975 times over the course of just one year" can from. I think it ruins the whole argument and make the speaker sound exceptionally ignorant. Until then, I could support the speakers sentiment. Personally, I think this comparison is an insult to the 9/11 survivors and to those living with or died from AIDS.
I do feel badly about your situation and why it must weigh heavy on your mind and I do hope there is a genius researcher out there who will turn the corner and find more effective drugs to treat or even better, eradicate AIDS. Everyone is entitled to their opinion based on their perspective and this is just mine

jc

I believe the author, in earlier post, mentioned that he was positive. I am not, at least not the last time I got checked. ...and my perspective would be different if it was, I am sure.
It is just like the Gov.'s edict that every young woman get that new vaccine to prevent cervical cancer. There are many people afraid since the medicine is so new and so much is not known about the future side effect....would they be worse than the disease? And then you see the cancer survivors lobbying the Tx. Legislature about the importance of getting this new drug in everyone hands, or arms, or buttocks, where the shot it put :-) They certainly have a different perspective on the issue.

Yet I know this is probably going to general a lot of hate mail backlash, but I just couldn't let it go by without a response.

So, just how wrong was I?

Friday, January 26, 2007

Do you have a Barbie Fetish?

My daughter, who is away at college [Texas A&M, WHOOP!] sent me this. We live in Round Rock, I thought this was great: http://theotherdustin.net/shame/austin-limited-edition-barbie/ although, I am concerned about how my money is being spent.... maybe this was an Marketing Assignment - ha!

Hopefully you don't have to be from the area to appreciate it. Actually when I read the first Mattel offering, I almost believed it was true.... then I noticed the scroll bar and read that rest and almost died laughing!

Hope you enjoy them as well.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

I have always loved George Carlin....

George Carlin's Rules for 2007

New Rule:
Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule:
Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked about what was supposedly found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout ?

New Rule:
If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
WAIT: I don't get this one, wasn't that the whole purpose to ogle your He-Man Idols?

New Rule:
Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them ? Okay, we're done.

New Rule:
There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule:
Stop messing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule:
The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge ass hole.
Oh man, this is sooo true. One of many reasons to hate an overpriced cuppa joe....

New Rule:
I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
Ya know, there have been times I have felt like that....also standing behind someone who seems credit card challenged....kindda like that commercial, Hey Lady, if I wanted to get in the slow line I would have gotten in a line where everybody was paying cash...gee, we have gotten so impatient in our old age!

New Rule:
Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
I have wondered how many people really know what the Chinese characters are really says on their ass. "Easy Access", "Eat at Joe's", "Enter at your own Risk"

New Rule:
Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker
table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting ? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule:
I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
Is this M&M's answer to movie line in 'Drop Dead Gorgeous', "I have a big bag of little donuts".

New Rule:
If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
As I think about it, there probably is a lot of truth to this...and I would include reunion shows 20 years later. I don't mind a 'where are they now' episode, but seeing a 50 yr old Cindy Brady still in curls with a lisp would be a little creepy.

New Rule:
No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people's version of looting.
This is just classic....